Optimising Apple's patent

I've started a tailoring shop called iTailors

I'm now waiting for Apple to come and sue.

Geography pun

Why did the Swedish leave the Wall Street ?

To take their Stockholm

Another pun

Did you hear about the guy who was caught stealing electrons ?
He was charged heavily.

Definition of procrastination

Procrastination is the art of squeezing toothpaste tubes.

Wikipedia donation.

I just came across this on Wikipedia:
"Please donate Wikipedia so as to keep the site free"
How do fuck is it suppose to be free for me if I've to pay for it anyways ?

Probability

A man tosses 10 unbiased coins.

Calculate the probability that he is a retard for tossing ten coins for no fucking reason.

Radioactive dating !

I've been seeing a girl from Chernobyl for the last three months. You can say that it's a kind of radioactive dating.

Worst case scenario.

What's worse than your girlfriend falling in love with your best friend?

Ans - Your girlfriend falling in love with your sister.

Facebook Password

I cracked my friend's Facebook password the other day.
It wasn't a good idea for him to keep it engraved in a flower vase.

The riddle !

What's long , hard and pink in the morning ?

Ans - The Economic Times crossword.