Another wordplay

I was working out my calves at the gym today, when the instructor said, "Oi retard! Get the cows out of here !"

Chemistry pun

Scientists are saying that they can make a compound of Hydrogen, Oxygen and Tungsten.

HOW?

Parasitic pun

A fancy dress competition with the theme 'parasites and worms' has been organised in the neighbourhood.

I'm the host.       

Political pun

I downloaded an ebook about the world politics.

When I tried to open the file, it said that it was corrupted.       

Statistical pun

I often tell my friends that I'm just average. But they say that I'm just mean.

Human body pun

I've been reading a book about the human anatomy.

Right now, I'm at the appendix.

Geek Pun

Winzip files are becoming rar these days.

Geology Pun

People who dig the earth's crust continuously are surely going mantle.

Optimising Apple's patent

I've started a tailoring shop called iTailors

I'm now waiting for Apple to come and sue.

Geography pun

Why did the Swedish leave the Wall Street ?

To take their Stockholm