Article pun

I only read articles on the newspaper.

I hate words other than 'a', 'an' and 'the'.

Myth behind LOL

LOL:

The word that people use for faking laughter on the Internet.

Rocket Science Pun

Making torpedoes isn't rocket science.

Why I promote vegetarianism

I always promote vegetarianism.

So as to ensure that there's enough of meat left for me to eat.

Hubble Space Telescope

I've made lenses with chewing gum waste.

I'm planning to build a Bubble Space Telescope.       

Chemistry pun 2

As I entered the chemistry lab, a bloke threw sulphuric acid and another one threw sodium hydroxide at me. 

I remained neutral.

Funeral pun

I've changed my name to 'DVD' and have asked my friend to release a video of my funeral after my death.

DVD RIP.

Trigonometry pun

I tried to steal a joke about trigonometry.

But I was cot.

Botany pun

At work, I get leaves whenever I ask my boss for it.

It's fucking awesome working in the Botany department of the University.       

Mountain pun

How do you add the heights of the highest mountains of the world?

Just summit.