Jokes and Oneliners

Sunday, December 30, 2012

When the doctor told me that my cardiac pacemaker won't be replaced, my heart was broken.

I got OCD, ADHD and AIDS.

But I still failed in the abbreviation quiz.

I was hammering the nails when I thought to myself,

"I should have used a nail cutter".

My friend told me that he saw a product of three snow flakes.

I think that's just ice cube.

You can't undo what you've done.

Unless of course you're working on Microsoft Office.

I'm really excited - only 1 more doomsday prediction till Christmas!

I only read articles on the newspaper.

I hate words other than 'a', 'an' and 'the'.

LOL:

The word that people use for faking laughter on the Internet.

Making torpedoes isn't rocket science.

I always promote vegetarianism.

So as to ensure that there's enough of meat left for me to eat.